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Why I Broke up with Scary Mommy

years are short

Y’all, today I broke up with Scary Mommy. 

Maybe I’m too new to all the social media opportunities that are EVERYWHERE for us now.  Or maybe I’m just old.  My kids like to tell me how much times have changed  from back then.  Back then being the days of my youth, so last century, left behind only to be looked up in the history books, or an old fashioned encyclopedia. 

My oldest will be 16 in a few months… and I’m living proof that you can believe every single word older parents tell you about how you’re going to miss these days.  Seems like yesterday that I was sitting in the preschool carpool line after the speed clean of the house and rushing through the express lane at the grocery store to buy milk.  Now I’m attending high school football games, wearing the team colors like a proud mama does, and riding in the passenger seat as he earns his driving hours to get his license.  He also shaves, though not nearly often enough.  And he’s messy.  But a gorgeous, lovable mess who is still my baby underneath that 5’11 frame and wrinkled school uniform.  

This later stage of mothering is an all new adventure for me. Much like being a new mom and bringing the baby home from the hospital the first time.  I remember bringing Kid 1 home for the first time and then wondering what I was supposed to do with him.  And today, 16 years down the road, I’m still trying to feel as confident and competent as I eventually learned to be when I had three little boys ages 3 and under who dressed like superheroes and wanted to marry me one day.  

Today I broke up with Scary Mommy.  Because age and social media ignorance aside, a scary mommy just isn’t the kind of mom I want to be.  And I say that from this side of the parenting fence, looking over at the years gone by and the miles of diapers we added to the world’s landfills.  

It’s both fun and sad watching my kids grow up.  That little guy that used to go everywhere dressed as Spider Man is about to start high school in the fall.  And the one that had his first little girlfriend in his 3 year old Mother’s Day Out class has a real girlfriend now and only three years till he leaves for college. 

I totally get the shared misery of the diaper days and toddler toys and not enough hands to go around the world of children in your house at this very moment.  Oh my gosh, the days were long then.  But how’s that phrase go?  The days are long but the years are short ?  I remember just wanting to take a nap.  Or a time out  …..   so I’d go to the bathroom.  But my little darlings would stick their fingers under the door to wave at me.  

But thinking back on it all now, I didn’t get to schedule the last day a little guy yelled from the potty,  I done Mommy, not yet knowing the hows and whys of toilet paper use.  And I didn’t know it was the last time he was going to sit in my lap to read a book.  And no one ever told me that the hugs got fewer and further between. 

But y’all, they do.  The good news is that each one becomes that much more valuable in the giant picture of hugs and memories when you’re on high alert to catch a kid in the mood to give you one. 

Today I got tired of all the scary mommies announcing the frustrations of being a mom. I’m all for humor and shared experiences, but in a way that makes me remember the great parts of being a mom.  And all the sarcasm was wearing me down.  It got old.  Or maybe I did. 

But I think we’re all just trying to find our place in the story.  Where do we fit in and what’s being told?  There’s such an abundance of information out there for us to compare ourselves to.  Did we do right?  Wrong?  Am I like other moms?  Or am I different?  And dearest Heaven, is that good or bad? 

I’m on mission to remember those early days.  And to commit to memory all the unique parts of this stage, too.  It took me a long time to figure it out, but I don’t think I ever wanted to be anything other than a mom.  Today I’m thankful for each day I get to keep doing it. 

post script…

Um, yes.  You can still read Scary Mommy.  And I’m absolutely positive there’s some great stuff to be found on there.   So yes, read it and love it.  I’ll still think you’re an amazing mom.  End of story. 

But for me, inviting someone into my life for them to see my pictures, my family, all my moments,… and I theirs?  … is a privilege.  A privilege not to be taken lightly.  And I only have so much room in my day for negative.   I’m kinda busy enjoying the days I have left being these three boys’ mom.

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5 Responses to Why I Broke up with Scary Mommy

  1. Anna May 24, 2016 at 7:45 am #

    Preach. Love this!!

  2. Tori August 13, 2016 at 5:28 pm #

    That website is extremely negative. Feeding into it only feeds into the “bad” side of parenting and makes you feel like it’s not a good experience. Some of it goes way too far, too. I have never enjoyed the site myself. It makes me feel nauseous to read some of the things people post on it.

  3. Pamela April 11, 2017 at 4:11 pm #

    I’m with you. I used to read it sparingly but then deleted it from my feed so I didn’t have exposure to it at all. The light side of motherhood is great–made famous by Erma Bombeck in my mother’s generation. But Scary Mommy crosses the line, IMHO, more times than not and left me feeling bad for all the children being reared by women who seem to begrudge their parenting privileges.

  4. Jill October 11, 2017 at 5:58 pm #

    I used to love scary mommy’s facebook page, but it’s all bullies now. The worst ones are all friends with the admin ( the admin who also joins in on the bullying, instead of protecting his members, he’s as bad as they are ) and I got banned for telling them I wouldn’t stand for their bullying anymore. Then I got banned from the “scary mommy it’s personal” page for daring to mention that I was banned and why. His wife didn’t like me calling him out. The bullies then continued to lie about me until he banned me. It’s almost a badge of honor at this point.

  5. Kristi Walters
    Kristi Walters October 13, 2017 at 5:15 pm #

    Y’all, I am obviously super late at checking on the comments on the post but for you all…YES! and Thank you! May all of us anti-scary mommies out there stay hopeful and positive, uplifting each other every chance we get. How else will our kids learn to do the same when their time comes to be a parent? Thank you again for reading and responding. Kristi

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