The other day I was talking with my 24 year old nephew. He was upset about some family stuff and the conversation was getting pretty heavy. We both paused. Then I looked at him and said my two magic words — “Don’t Smile!” Despite everything, he couldn’t help himself! A huge grin spread across his face. Through his grin he told me “I use that on my 5 year old son. I cannot believe it just worked on me.”
I almost couldn’t believe it either. But I should know better then to doubt myself! In my totally made-up and most likely completely inaccurate calculations – “Don’t Smile” has a 95% success rate.
Growing up is “super hard” and “parents just don’t understand” and we “never let them do anything!” Time outs happen. Then I get “I’m having the worst day!” from my kids as they mope away.
All I have to do is look at my kids, put on a grin, and sing-song “Don’t Smile” and they almost can’t help themselves!
Mad and trying not to smile.
When tempers flair, when sharing seems impossible, any time a situation or attitude starts getting out of control – I pull a handy dandy “Don’t Smile” out of my pocket and things start to calm back down.
Sometimes I follow that up with a hug. Sometimes they just need a minute to move on. But it almost always helps us avoid a huge meltdown and gets my kids back to happy!
Even better news – I’ve successfully used “Don’t Smile” on my stepkids throughout their teenage years! It doesn’t have quite as high a success rate. But used at just the right moment (when they are not particularly happy with our plans or the way things are going) a simple “Don’t Smile” goes a long way to diffuse a bad situation.
Just try saying “Don’t Smile” without smiling. Virtually impossible.
Maybe it’s my Velasquez genes – we don’t like being told what to do. Maybe it’s just the irony of being told not to smile by someone who is smiling. Maybe it’s the sing-songy way we say it. I don’t know the reason, but I do know it works for our family! I’d love to hear if it works for yours!!
