How Did You Know You Were Done?

16

When my husband and I got married in 2007, I had a ready made family. Β He had two kids, already — a boy and a girl. Β Not only was I a new wife, but I was also a step-mom.

I loved spending time with them, taking care of them, and being part of their lives, but to them, I was “Jamie” and I wanted more.

I wanted to be a mommy, to someone.

I had no idea that by August of 2012, I would officially be a mommy to three someones.

After having Langston, my first child, in 2009, I knew I wanted another baby. Β And, although he had two older siblings, they were 8 and 10 years older than him. Β I didn’t want him to be raised an only child. Β With that said, I was planting the seed in my husband’s mind for another baby almost right away.

We found out I was pregnant again in February of 2010 and it wasn’t long after that we learned we were welcoming another boy. Β As excited as I was about the thought of raising brothers and best friends, I knew all along I wanted another baby and another chance for a little girl.

Riverson joined our family in October of 2010 and you would think with four kids, we were good to go, and I think my husband was. πŸ™‚

I guess I was the problem. Β I still had that desire in my heart for one more baby. Β I didn’t know where it was coming from, but I wanted another chance to have that little girl I had wanted so much. Β Those mother daughter relationships are pretty incredible and I wanted to know what it’s like to be on the mother side of that equation.

After a lot of persuading, on my part, my husband had finally agreed to one more baby but we were talking several years down the road. Β I guess God heard his plan and laughed. Β We learned in December of 2011 we were expecting again.

It wasn’t long before we knew this baby was a little girl. Β The funny thing is, I knew before we even learned the sex of the baby that I was writing the final chapter in our pregnancy book. Β This was the last time, whether boy or girl, and I knew it in my heart. Β I was at peace with it, too.

We had the most incredible day, last month,Β welcoming our little girl, Brantley, into this world, but I loved knowing I could really enjoy it because I was NEVER doing it again. πŸ™‚

 

I was ready to move in to the next phase. Β I wanted to get excited about playing on sports teams, going to soccer games, and most importantly, getting OUT of diapers!

In spite of that intense desire to move on with our babies and make great kids and adults out of them, I will enjoy little moments like these whenever I can.

I would love to know how YOU knew you were done having kids! Β What was the final chapter in your pregnancy book?

16 COMMENTS

  1. I THOUGHT I was done with Roman, our 9 week old, after a bad bout of PPD. But after I settled in and some celexa helped. I love him so. I might just want another : ) Time will tell. But I do need a break after having 2 kids in 2 years lol.

    • Yes, my first two were 16 months apart and I felt like I had two babies at the same time. It was rough. Give yourself some time, but it sounds like you still have that desire in your heart. πŸ˜‰

      I’m so glad to hear that PPD is behind you!!

  2. Oh, Jaime, I have tears in my eyes! We are also struggling with this decision (well, I am). I am so in love with my two beautiful children, but I still feel like I want one more. I grew up with two siblings and my DH grew up with two siblings, so it just feels like three is the magic number. I’m still trying to convince DH, though, who thinks two is enough for us. I know it will be harder once they start needing vehicles and college and weddings, etc., but one more sweet “baby” to love the rest of our lives? Sounds perfect to me.

    • Yes, it will always be hard no matter how many kids you have, really. There’s always some expense for them. You sound just like me: “one more sweet baby to love” πŸ™‚

      Sounds perfect to me, too!

  3. I always say I want 4 kids, but the thought of EVER being done totally freaks me out. Is that a little crazy? Like I’m totally gonna end up like the Duggars with my 19 children? Either way, I’m with Kristin, I def. need a break after having 2 kids in 2 years!

    • It makes me a little sad to admit that I’m totally done. After all, I have almost textbook pregnancies and very easy labors. I actually really like pregnancy!

      But, like Amanda said, it gets expensive. I honestly don’t know how the Duggars do it.

    • I feel that way too!! Right now when I get sad about Cambry reaching milestones or growing up I can comfort myself with the thought of having more. But how will I comfort myself on the last one? I feel like I will be so so sad to be pregnant for the last time. Maybe it will get so hard with multiple kids that I will feel done, I don’t know. But I think pregnancy is one of the most exciting times of your life, and it will be sad not to have that to look forward to any more!

      • I agree that pregnancy is one of the most exciting times of your life, especially if you are fortunate enough to experience pregnancy without any problems. I never really felt “done” during my first two pregnancies, but I definitely did with my last one, even though it was another perfect pregnancy.

        Some people say, “When you know, you know.” I think it’s so true! πŸ™‚

  4. My first pregnancy was so awful that I had convinced myself that I was never doing that again. Amnesia set in, and I was pregnant again 16 months later. Fortunately, my second pregnancy was awesome. We had decided we wanted two kids a long time ago, and now that they’re here, I feel complete. Two boys in two years, and they’ll be best buds.

  5. We have a daughter and I was sure we were done when I was pregnant with our second and found out he was a boy. But nearly a hear and a half into my son’s first year and I REALLY want a third. I want my daughter to have a sister so bad! My husband is SURE that we’re done. Having a third would mean a new car for me…which is not in the budget. Not to mention another mouth to feed. I don’t want finances to be the reason we don’t add to our family. I trust in God’s plan for our family and look forward to seeing if that includes another family member. But I definitely don’t have the feeling of being done.

  6. I just knew. There was no more questions or wondering. I have 4 boys. The first 3 all happened within 4 years. Then I spent 4 years trying to figure out if I really was done or just burnt out. Then along came #4 and I don’t wonder any more. I’m good !

  7. Your family is precious, and your daughter is beautiful!!

    I “knew” I was done after my third was born. Then WE had a God laughing moment and I now have a 4th! He is a dream and now I don’t know if I’m done! EEk!

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here