When I found out I was pregnant with our first child, I knew I wanted the baby’s gender to be a surprise. Little did I know, that was not the norm! As I told people the exciting news that we were expecting, literally, the first question everyone asked me was “So, how soon can you find out the gender?”
And my response: “I am waiting to be surprised.”
During my pregnancy, my husband and I were asked so many times just why in the world we could find out but were choosing not to. So here are the most common questions raised by friends, co-workers, strangers in the grocery store, etc. And here is how I answered them:
But…what will people give you at your baby shower?
The necessities! Things that both boys and girls use: bottles, a breast pump, pacifiers, baby carriers, play mats, etc. Sure, its fun to get cute little girl or boy baby clothes and hats. But its really great to have your nursery stocked with all the essentials before the baby comes. Grandparents, friends and family will be eager to send the little Miss or Mister cute clothes, hats/bows, and socks once they arrive.
But…what about monogramming?
Rest assured, your sweet new baby will be able to survive the trip home from the hospital without a completely monogrammed wardrobe. My ‘surprise’ baby girls each had more personalized onesies, blankets, burp cloths and bibs come our way in the weeks following their arrivals than I could have ever imagined.
But…how are you going to prepare a nursery?
A baby’s room has pretty standard furnishings: crib, changing table, maybe a rocking chair. And not everything has to be green, yellow and brown. There are lots of other gender neutral colors out there. The baby sleeps in the parent’s room for the first few weeks/months anyway. We had fun starting out with a neutral room and personalizing both our rooms in the weeks after our girls were born.
But…are you going to pick names for both?
Yes! We will come up with a few names we like for both genders, and we will name the baby when we meet the baby.
But…how can you stand to wait?
The waiting isn’t easy, I’ll be honest. Many times I wanted to ask my doctor to just whisper the baby’s gender to me. But I didn’t. In this day in age, everything is instant. News is on social media the second it happens. This is the ONE big, amazing and wonderful surprise in your life that is completely worth waiting for.
I’m not saying that finding out the gender as early as you can isn’t a wonderful surprise, because it is truly amazing whether you find out at 12 weeks or on delivery day. However, waiting and anticipating for 40 (give or take) weeks really, really magnifies the excitement.
And if you ask my husband, the moment he walked into the waiting room to tell our eagerly awaiting family, “its a girl” was one of the most emotional and special moments he has experienced in fatherhood.
Did you find out the gender ahead of time? Or if you are pregnant/hoping to be pregnant, are you planning to find out the baby’s gender?
We would love to hear from you in the comments below!
I had the gender written and placed in a sealed envelope at my 20 week sonogram for my first baby. We ripped it open in the parking lot. That’s when I discovered I have no willpower.
I also found out on my second child.
BUT, for my third baby I did wait and find out at the delivery and that was a very fun moment! Except for the fact that I had totally guessed wrong in my mind and had to readjust all my thinking from girl to boy.
I am currently 38 weeks pregnant and my husband and I are not finding out our baby’s gender until birth. At first my husband really wanted to find out, but half way through he admitted he liked not knowing…probably because he realized it is not the norm these days. We are decorating the nursery neutral with mint and white right now and will incorporate other colors after birth. It has been fun not knowing, but I will say it has been tough these last few days. The birth of our baby couldn’t come soon enough..not because I am done being pregnant, but because I just want to know if we are having a boy or girl.
We waited for all three of our kids, and it was so worth the wait, especially with the first one because my husband walked out to the waiting area to tell all four grandparents it was a boy. It’s funny how crazy it drove other people that I (and in turn, they) didn’t know!
We didn’t find out with either of our kids. I loved waiting for the surprise and so did my husband. I also didn’t want to have a closet full of pink or blue and it forced everyone to buy neutral like orange and green which I prefer anyway. We decorated my first daughter’s room with one wall painted in various colored squares that included a blue and a pink one. With my second daughter I had the room in turquoise and orange. My second pregnancy was so different than my first that I had convinced myself it had to be a boy but when she came out a girl I just kept repeating, “It’s a girl!” over and over while finishing up in the OR.