So you get married, get a house, and have a baby. You are enjoying watching your little one grown up and making memories. Life is good! You are adjusting to being a new mommy and getting your body back, then all of a sudden you hear, “oh my gosh he’s getting so big…he’s moving out of the way for his little sister!” or “hey, you better hurry up and have baby #2, you don’t want them too far apart!” You hear this from your family, your friends, your coworkers, even church members!
Everyone wants to give their two cents and advice. So you smile, let out a little HEHE, but you really don’t know what say. How do you respond to that? Unbeknownst to them, you may not be ready to have baby #2. I mean lets face it, having one baby is a task. And if you are a working mama like myself, then having a baby becomes even more of a challenge! More importantly, people really need to be careful with this topic. Someone may be struggling to have another baby and this could really be a sensitive time for that mama.
Let’s keep in mind that your loved ones and friends mean no harm. They could just be nosy or they seriously are trying to give you advice based on their experience with motherhood. Either way it is important to be comfortable with where you are in your motherhood journey. There is no right or wrong to having children and many of us try to plan ahead if we can. I have an 18 month old son and I am in no rush to have Baby #2. I am enjoying watching him grow, reach milestones and getting taller! I can’t imagine being pregnant again right now, my son was almost 10 lbs when he was born and that was a lot on my body!
The bottom line is having another baby is a really big decision that affects your family dynamic, your finances and it affects you physically too. Only you and your spouse/partner know if you are ready to have another baby, as long as you are on the same page that is all that matters.
Here are some ways you can appropriately respond to comments and questions about having Baby #2:
- Take it as a compliment and say, “thank you for thinking I can handle two little ones…I appreciate that!”
- Bring the focus back to your current child and say, “you know he/she really is a handful, I love being able to spend time with him.”
- Just simply focus on natural timing and say, “you know when the time is right, our family will grow”
- Or even compliment them and say, “I don’t know how you did it? Kudos to you Mama!”
I personally believe that things happen in the order and timing that they are supposed to, so don’t feel pressured Mama! Enjoy being with your little one while you can! When it’s time to give them a little brother or little sister, it will happen.