Adoption Journey: Megan Finds Jake

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There are more than 145 million orphans in the world today and more than 130,000 children in the U.S. foster care system waiting to be adopted. In Texas alone, there are 3,400 children waiting for their forever home. For some, the journey of becoming a mother doesn’t involve months of pregnancy, but instead months of paperwork to bring home their precious child and become a forever family. Each story is a unique journey of ups and downs  and we hope that Megan’s story illuminates another path to becoming a mom. — Kali Bailey
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We felt the tug to adopt long before we were ever married.  We discussed it while we were dating, and agreed that it was a beautiful way to grow our family. We are Christians, and believe that the scriptures instruct Christians to look within their hearts and homes to see if there is room for “one more.”  Although not every family is equipped, we believed that through prayer and a reliance on our God, we had room and would welcome a child with open arms.

We began by looking at international adoption, specifically, China.  But after research we learned that the costs were out of our reach…so we began the process of looking domestically.

Around the same time, our friends, Bruce and Denise Kendrick, were beginning an adoption non-profit, Embrace Texas, an organization that “helps the church reclaim the care of orphans and waiting children.”  They were offering training with Child Protective Services (CPS) in a local church, so we were excited to start!

We began the paperwork … the mounds and mounds and mounds of paperwork! Background checks were done, fingerprints taken, and the training began.

We also began looking to the Buckner Foster Care and Adoption Services and realized that most of the CPS training would transfer to them, and they would give us a little bit of the personal touch that we craved in the process.

Weeks away from completing our training and homestudy to become “paper pregnant” (beginning the waiting process for placement) with our third child … we found out that we were pregnant with our fourth!  Ha!  What icing on the cake!

In anticipation of our hopeful adoptive placement, we had ceased trying for a biological baby.  We had been trying for about a year to get pregnant.  We normally were always pregnant within a few months of trying.  Since it was taking a lot longer, we felt this was confirmation of our decision to adopt.  We now know God was just writing a surprise ending to the story!

In the same month that we became licensed, (and found out we were pregnant) and, though we didn’t know it at the time, our beautiful son Jake was born to a mother without the skill set to take care of him properly.  We won’t go into that part of the story because we believe that is his story to tell, not ours.

He was placed in foster care with our friends, Denise and Bruce.  (Some may say this was luck, but we know better!)  We didn’t know it, of course, at the time … but that bright-eyed, precocious child would one day be ours forever, and joining him in our family (while we waited anxiously for Jake’s adoption and court details to be worked out) was Beckham, our fourth child.  Jake lived and was loved for the first 14 months by our sweet friends, Bruce and Denise.  So we got to hold Jake when he was only a few days old!  They are still very much a part of Jake’s life, seeing him about once a week.  We love that we have the gift of “time” with the first parents that got to cuddle, rock and love on our sweet baby.

REGRETS AND SURPRISING EMOTIONS

If I had one regret in the process, I think I regret not meeting Jake’s mother. I am not sure that the opportunity was there for that meeting, but I wish I would have pushed for it. I  think that over time a relationship with him and us might have brought healing to her life, and possibly to Jake’s adult life.  I have thought repeatedly (especially around Jake’s birthday) how sad I am for her that she is missing out on his life and his milestones.  As a mother, I cannot imagine how she must feel with a child out there … it has to be painful.

I would be glossing over the process if I did not write that the process can be hard. With these babies, and really with every adoption, it always begins with a loss.  There is no good start to these children’s lives.  They are faced with very hard beginnings and I often say that these children can have “scar tissue”.  Even being adopted at such a young age, and being with a wonderful and loving foster family has left some of this “scar tissue” on Jake’s heart.  It has been hard, as his mother, to see this scar tissue, and to know that only God can heal this for him.

And the waiting … my goodness the waiting!  Waiting on paperwork to be looked over, waiting on court dates, waiting on homestudies, waiting on a call-back from the agencies and CPS employees.  The waiting can be brutal and for this control freak it can make me a complete nervous wreck!

Jake is now a happy, healthy and curious three-year-old that has kept us on our toes.  We cannot imagine him NOT in our family.  Truly, Jake has been worth every tear, every emotional phone call, every prayer session, and every detail involved in his adoption. He has been worth the worry, the pleading, the anxiety and the ulcer that both his foster mama and I experienced during the process while waiting to find out his fate.

We are still in awe that our family was grown in this way.  And who knows?  We may just have room for one more…..

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                                                                                                                  Megan Adkins has been married to the love of her life, Alan, for 12 years. She is the mother of 4 great kids: Lauren, 8; Cade, 6; Jake, 3 and Bekham, 2. She’s lived in the Dallas area for about 11 years. She attempts to live a faith-filled life (however flawed) and is passionate about marriage and parenting.

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