Dear Future Me Mom,
How have things been? I can’t believe it has been 10 years and we have teenagers now!! It seems like only yesterday you were sitting on the couch wondering when they would grow up and calm down. Now it seems like they are never around and those special moments are few and far between. Look Future Me Mom, you did an amazing job. In those moments when you felt like giving up, you kept pushing, and now look at those beautiful little creatures. They are thriving, they are important, and are growing into the young adults that you imagined that they would be.
Remember that day when you complained about how “OCD” they were when they wouldn’t get inside the pool because there were leaves in there? Remember all the times the toilet had to be extra clean before Harlem would sit on it. How about the 3million wipes you used to wipe every speck of dirt off those tiny little fingers? Remember we thought those moments would never stop?
I know you remember those sleepless nights when cluster feeding seemed to never end. Or the terrible two’s stage when you rocked that little girl for 2 hours straight just trying to get her to go to sleep. How about those nights when you cried for hours thinking, “I can’t do this,” or,”I am failing at this mother thing”? Do you remember how long ago those moments seem now, but how long they felt at that moment?
Remember fighting to do a squiggly toddlers hair, or brush through those beautiful kinks and curls when they didn’t feel do beautiful? Fighting a stubborn little boy to put on regular shoes and not rain boots for the 245th time that year? In those moments, it was hard. I know you felt like giving up, but I am so glad you didn’t because now you can look back at those times and say “but nevertheless, I persevered.”
Now, I know you long for those long 2 hour cuddles, and the opportunity to run your hands through that kinky, coily hair. You wish you could take one more picture of that little boy in those rain boots. What you wouldn’t give to chase those little footprints around the house one more time. Now those tiny little humans are exploring the world that you have loaned them to. But that is what we wanted right? For them to grow, and be productive little citizens of the world.
Those piano, boxing, and gymnastics lessons paid off. They know team work, hard work and dedication. The money for that private school was, and still is, worth it. They are academically sound, and smarter that you! That tough love paid off; they have respect and decency, 2 things that we need more of in this world. The prayers have worked’ they are still here, not by your doing, but by God’s grace, mercy, and absolute favor. There is nothing like a praying mother, and your prayers have covered them in the midst of it all.
Future Me Mom, it’s not over. In 10 more years, you will write a letter to the future you to remind you of all the good you have done when it seemed so hard. Those two little ones; they may outgrow our lap, but never our hearts, and they will ALWAYS need their mom. So embrace all the cuddles you can, sneak all the kisses, and enjoy this new chapter of their lives. What seems like a marathon now, you will look back and see that it was the quickest, and most important sprint you ever ran. Catch those moments, capture a memory, and create the best moments of your life each day.
The mom who is struggling now, but knows it is worth it. The mom in all of us!