The New Year is here and as tradition will have it, we are all making resolutions to be a better version of ourselves in some way. I always look forward to a New year–365 new days with 365 new opportunities! I have always lived for that golden moment of being able to kiss the current year goodbye! Wiping the slate clean and starting over is my all time favorite tradition in welcoming a brand new year.
There was a different feeling lingering with the end of 2018, it was by far the longest and most draining year of them all. Let me tell you, I SHOULD have been eager to kiss it goodbye, but there was something so bittersweet about 2019 knocking on the door. Instead of making myself the usual promises to get in the gym more, work on my trust and anxiety issues, pray harder, and eat better (all things I need to do by the way), I decided I would stop and take a minute to be thankful for 2018 and every moment it held for me.
Even though it was a terribly tough one, I took the year for granted. I let precious time slip away, slowly, but it still got away from me. I allowed superficial things to take up more time then they were worth and I never stopped to “smell the roses”. I spent more time than I care to admit trying to control aspects of my life that I had no business trying to control and my gosh, I actually jipped myself out of some happiness! I am taking back those moments now because 2018 was an incredibly significant year for me and I am betting it was for you too! Today, I am encouraging everyone to take a moment, close your eyes and reflect on all the moments you may have missed even though you were right in the middle of them.
2018 was what we will call a “character building” year! I really have learned so much about my ability to overcome obstacles and as a person who is crazy focused on all the negatives and weaknesses I posses, being able to see myself as somewhat stronger is quite a step forward. I have learned (not perfected!) to balance different areas of my life when I feel like I am drowning. I have two daughters now, ages 1 and 9 and as you can imagine, their schedules and needs are vastly different. For awhile there, I lived in a constant overwhelmed state because I felt like I was failing one of my kids at any given time. I felt like there was not enough of me to go around and that I was letting one of them down while I was taking care of the other. At some point during the year, I have no idea when, everything just started to run smoothly and I felt like I had a grip on parenting two little girls! I didn’t realize it at the time, but that is huge. An enormous weight was lifted off of my shoulders and suddenly I felt back in my element. For that moment, whenever it was, I am incredibly thankful!
Another gift 2018 gave me was the ability to transition from a working a corporate job to a stay at home working mom. I didn’t realize how much I was missing out on while doing what a normal person does by going to work and dropping my kiddos off at school and daycare. Obviously, I am the only one carrying the load at home so working in general is not optional for me. I felt devastated each day when I would drop my baby off at daycare and my oldest at school. Working a typical 8-5 corporate job was not working for me and the girls. I truly believe God saw this struggle and placed people in my life to help me find the perfect solution. My girls do not have to go to daycare or after school programs and we can enjoy our evenings because I am actually home! I have an amazing career AND I started my own business with Mary Kay. We have a steady routine, a great home and the wonderful gift of time. How could I ask for more? What a beautiful blessing.
There are probably a thousand different things I could sit here and share with everyone about my own 2018, but I’ll spare you! There was a lot of pain, but there was also a ton of joy and for that I feel like I was more blessed than I may have ever realized. I guess my point in this post is that we live in such a fast-paced world where small wins and precious moments are often overlooked. We allow ourselves to be distracted and absorbed in superficial things that actually deprive us of enjoying a precious moment. We also look at temporary setbacks as a permanent failure which leads us to ultimately beating ourselves up and begging for a fresh start. We crave the new year so we can start all over and let the previous year go but in reality, we should be grateful for whatever was handed to us. We woke up each day, we lived, we struggled, we thrived…all things that should be recognized, not swept under a rug in a rush to “try again”! I strongly urge all of you take in every single moment you can this new year and embrace the small things. Accept the losses and move forward, overcome failures and celebrate victories, happily take the good with the bad! After all, we are told it is all the small moments that make a life right? Because I took the time to stop and remember what 2018 gave to me, I can honestly say my New Years resolutions will be a little different!
Sure, they will include the usual:
- Eat more fruits and veggies, lay off the fried foods
- Get in the gym more
- Work on relaxing and letting go of my trust issues and anxiety
BUT I will add a few more positive and obtainable resolutions like:
- Say yes to playing with my girls more
- Stop feeling the need to document everything on social media,
- BE in the moment
- Soak up every single second with my kids because they will be grown before I know it
- Refuse to rush through my days wishing for the next
My prayer for you is that you give yourself the gift of time and be more present in your own life! I hope that you all will join me in embracing every minute you are given and finding the joy in it!
