I know this is a sensitive subject. My husband and I tried to get pregnant for three years before we found out we were expecting our first and if I ever saw a post with this title, I would have been furious. I promise, I know I am so blessed to be pregnant right now. The baby is healthy and growing, which is amazing and we are so grateful to be adding to our family.
But still, I feel like I need to share my thoughts because they are so different than what I hear from most other glowing moms-to-be. It’s true…I hate being pregnant.
I loved giving labor and my toddler is a joy, but my second pregnancy (much like my first) is downright miserable. Of course I hate the aches and pains, but it goes deeper than that. I hate the way pregnancy completely takes over my brain. I was once a rational human being…not any more! I literally just got done being mad at my husband for 30 minutes about ABSOLUTELY NOTHING before coming to my senses and realizing I was being hormonal. I feel like I’m a teenager again – every little things seems like such a big (huge, life-altering) deal that I can’t make my brain think about anything logically.
And who are we supposed to talk to about this? All of my friends either desperately want kids of their own, so it’s painful to talk about pregnancy at all, or they are so weighted down by their own work schedules and family stresses that they really don’t have time for the crazy ramblings of a hormonal woman.
What makes it even worse is that “How are you feeling?” Is everyone’s favorite pregnancy question, but no one really wants to know the answer. If you say any more than the standard, “I have good days and bad days, but I know it will get better soon!”, their eyes start to shift and it’s obvious they’re looking for a quick get-a-way. When I really want to say, “Well, I’ve felt like I could throw up at any second for the last four months, my boobs are so sore I could cry, round ligament pain ensures that I can’t stand up without buckling over, and to top it all off I can’t sleep because I can’t get comfortable and when I do I’m assaulted with crazy, vivid pregnancy dreams.”
Even if I could tell someone, it’s not like I feel well enough to get out of the house to see them! Nauseous all day and in bed by 9:00 pm does not a good friend make.
I know it gets better. I know in a year I won’t remember any of this (it’s God’s way of tricking you in to having another). But the truth is that pregnancy is grueling work. It is a marathon physically and a wrestling match emotionally. If you are enjoying your pregnancy, I am so happy for you (and I have about 15 belly touchers to send your way before I punch them!).
If, however, pregnancy isn’t all you hoped and dreamed it would be – if it’s hard work and some days it just plain sucks…I don’t have any amazing words of wisdom, but know that you aren’t alone. I am here with you fighting to remind myself daily that in a few months I will be holding a bundle of joy and I will forget all about morning sickness and emotional roller coasters. In a few years I will adore watching my toddler and preschooler play together. In a while it will all be worth it, but today…I just hate being pregnant.